Jared is a fascinating combination of Austin Powers, Dr. Evil, and Leonardo da Vinci.

superdoofus-stratodrive:

i want an army of marmosets and sloths. i want them to be armed with torpedos and grenades and sharpened lengths of bamboo (for bloodletting).

i want to walk around with a board and give everyone concussions.

i want the earth to be twenty degrees at all times and i want my house to be built on a frozen river.

i want every vegetable to die and i want spiders to live with impunity.

i want the only music ever heard to be arbos by arvo part. get a grip over here and screw you, internet.

i want only timpani drums and french horns only to ever play anywhere for anything.

i want grass to grow sideways and mums to be the only flowers left.

i want nightcrawler beds at the foot of everyone’s beds and i want everyone to fish for bass or trout or catfishes or tarpons.

i want rabbit hides. only and ever rabbit hides.

there is more but it will come later.